I absolutely love this picture of me and A - except for the fact that it makes me think about how I'm not really living the life I think I wanna live. I'm not talking about a ridiculous fantasy life, I ... well, maybe I am. I see pictures like these... outside (mountains or beach) and I look happy and relaxed and it makes me wonder why (WHY!!!) I live in a city like Dallas. People don't live here, they work here. And it's certainly not relaxed. Or bright. Or full of spunky, funky, laid-back energy (that is NOT a contradictory statement).
I want to be in California or Mexico or Belize. I want to walk around barefoot. I want to be outdoors. I want to walk/bike/run/ride the bus to the store, the beach, the mountains, the coffee shop.
I long for a kind of simplicity that in my younger days I found boring and catastrophic. I always fancied myself an artsy urbanite, a slick city-girl, a Manhattan hipster- but I find that I am happiest near bodies of water. I am happiest surrounded by trees.
I know this. I've known it for a while. What is it that holds me back, I wonder? If I think hard enough, dig deep enough, I'm pretty sure I could find the answer.
I wish I had the courage to risk being truly happy.
