I don't know if I could ever be a stay-at-home mom... and I don't know what that says about me. It's possible, of course, that this "get me out of here" feeling has more to do with Alex being sick in bed and less to do with any kind of stay-at-home-mom type thing. Or maybe that he's 13 and way past the need for me to stay home (except when knocked out by fever).
I really don't know what to do with myself. If I were a stay-at-home mom, we'd go to the park or something, right? Or bake cookies? Or do crafts? Seeing that I want more kids, it worries me that I get so antsy about being cooped up in the house for ONE FREAKING DAY!
Hmmm. I'm overanalyzing perhaps.
I get sad sometimes that I didn't get to stay home with him when he was young. I did take him with me everywhere I went - I won't say that he was somehow deprived of my attention. But I do wish I'd had some more one-on-one time with him. Time when my attention wasn't divided by work, school, whatever play I happened to be doing at the time.
I hope that I can do that for the next one.
Ok. So today. While he is sick and asleep. And I need to stay here. Maybe I'll finally get those pictures in albums.
Maybe I'll bake some cookies.
Maybe I'll do my taxes.
Maybe I'll just figure out how to be still for a little bit.
No comments:
Post a Comment